A Senior Moment

NEW POST
Old age is just great, as anyone who’s about fifty years past puberty can attest. Our bones and brains get brittle ,while one by one our internal organs which have been our dear  friends  for over a half century are surgically  separated from their long time hosts We slowly become as hollow as a gourd, and just slightly less attractive.

 But oh yeah it gets worse. Media portrays us…on the rare occasions they portray us at all as being increasingly annoying, nastier (but in a quasi decent sort of way) judgmental, locked in old farts who should be neither seen nor heard on their television airways or newspapers…the lone exception is on the obituary page accompanied by the last good picture we took… usually about 30 years earlier.

It   [ More… ]

During a visit with one member of my vast medical support
team, he mentioned “You don’t look your age”

I’m not sure if that was an up or down assessment. I
asked Dr. “M” if he had taken into account my X rays, blood tests, Bone marrow
biopsies, Colonoscopies, endoscopies, scans, and every other test that reveal
your innermost secrets.

The good doc ignored my question while stating “I hope I
look as good as you when I’m your age”

Problem is Dr. “M” looks to be about 83. With that said he
scratched out 7 or so prescriptions and darted out of the exam room like Wiley
Coyote on speed.

When did doctors, Presidents, police and 85 % of the
population stay youthful as I decompose in plain sight?

My first observation as I approach a pre paid   [ More… ]

A S M

As centuries go my particular favorite was the 20th, specifically from the mid fifties to the mid 80′s… so far the 21st has done me no favors…when ridiculously hi tech electronics took over the world … my “low tech” mastery was challenged…needless to say, I lost that one…overnight I was yesterdays news… and it all turned on me when I was way younger, more gifted, at my peak mentally and physically, and far prettier…some  one has have said

As a result we early onset Baby Boomers were delivered yet another major blow…. As a group, we “Boomers” are afflicted with alternating rather than direct brain wave current, as a result we’re not hardwired to deal with the complexities of modern technology generated from the mid 80′s.

The so called “Generation Next or “Gen X” were born into it, we on the other hand had to adapt to it at middle age. Not particularly a good   [ More… ]

A SENIOR STRUT

For eleven months of every twelve we seniors are media “mutes,” and for all practical purposes we’re invisible to everyone except each other… Ah but in the month of May…big doings…because gall dang it…its SENIOR CITIZENS MONTH!!…Which actually lasts a day or two

Senior Citizens Month was coined and minted by JFK. It stayed that way until “Jimma” (please buy my peanuts, and wash it down with some “Billy Beer”) Carter, of whom I’ve previously stated never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity, decided to change “SENIOR CITIZENS MONTH” a perfectly respectable, if somewhat obtuse sanction  to the generic  “AGING AMERICANS MONTH”.

So I ask you …what the hell does “Aging Americans mean?…Name me one American,  or even Puerto Rican for that matter who isn’t aging and I submit were talking about one very   [ More… ]

WHATS TO LIKE ABOUT TURNING INTO A SENIOR?

Turning into a senior is definitely not like leaves turning in the fall. This seasonal phenomenon is about renewal…as a side note this doesn’t apply to Southern California where even the leaves are neurotic, they hold on for dear life…how can they turn in 80 degree weather?. It’s embarrassing. Furthermore it’s not like a caterpillar renewing itself as a Butterfly.

Sorry to say there’s nothing renewable about us except our annual insurance deductible. T.J Simers a sports columnist for the L.A Times said” I’m too young to be so old so soon” I’ve seen Mr. Simers at Staples center, my response? I don’t think so.

However, Mr. Simers point is well taken. Forget the years… the decades have gone much faster than they should by all that’s holy and kosher, it seems like yesterday when I was divorced for the   [ More… ]